Wednesday, October 26, 2011

New Fights, Old Foes

These last couple of weeks  of fasting from desserts and tv have had some unexpected results.  I haven't lost weight and I haven't caught up on all the laundry and ironing.  That has been a little unexpected.....

Insecurities and feelings I haven't dealt with much since our early married years in Andrews and Paradise have surfaced.  Daily, I find myself seeking escape from frustration.  Not enough time, too many responsibilities, too many needy students, feeling distant from my husband, too tired, can't sleep, guilt over not being a good enough cook or mom or hostess or teacher.  I guess I had these neatly folded and placed aside while I watched TV and ate cookies.

As I wrestle with these feelings, I call out to God, "Deliver me from this junk!"  I know where these painful shards come from, someone who wants to "steal, kill, and destroy."  So why can't I shake them off with my shield of faith?

I know I need to fight with the sword of the Spirit, but I'm a girl.  I don't like being the "warrior" type.
Today, I was reading the 7th Yada Yada Prayer Group novel, and God spoke to me.

"Though an army may encamp against me, my heart shall not fear...For in the time of trouble, He shall hide me in His pavilion; in the secret place of His tabernacle He shall hide me; He shall set me high upon a rock."  From Psalm 27

It may seem strange, but I'm finding huge relief imagining myself walking away from what I am afraid people think toward a white tented pavilion, or tabernacle.  I'm safe.  I'm redeemed.  He loves me!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

The Hardest Thirty Days

"Consecrate yourselves for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you."  Joshua 3:5

I was losing focus.

Dex, my 17 year old, asked me to do The Hardest Thirty Days Bible study with him at church. It is a teen-oriented study that challenges you to give up anything that might get in the way of growing closer to God. So....Sunday we started and the leader challenged us to give up one thing for the whole 30 days in addition to whatever the study assigned us to give up.

Dex and I agreed, which was not a coincidence I'm sure, that desserts and TV held pretty high spots in our hearts. So, we gave up sweets and TV other than football. It's not that I can't miss football games; I just didn't want to sit in a different room from my husband for 30 days!

Today is Thursday, the fourth day, and I was beginning to lose my resolve. Something about Thursday nights makes me want to lie on the couch, watch NCIS and HouseHunters International reruns, and eat Blizzards from Dairy Queen. It 's the calm before the storm that is Friday night high school football, especially this week's much anticipated game between Seminole and Monahans.

This afternoon, I lay on the couch and read my Yada Yada Prayer Group novel, took a quick nap, and then had the serious and probably hormone-induced craving for Blizzards and TV. My weak, "I choose You, God." was uninfectious. So, I've moped around a bit and then got on Facebook and saw Sharron Fires's verse. Wow!!! I forgot why I was doing this!!

I don't know what God has in mind, but I want to be ready.

Sunday, October 9, 2011


What a week.

James 5:16

Amplified Bible (AMP)
16Confess to one another therefore your faults (your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray [also] for one another, that you may be healed and restored [to a spiritual tone of mind and heart]. The earnest (heartfelt, continued) prayer of a righteous man makes tremendous power available [dynamic in its working].
This is copied from

We have been praying for a close, close friend's son for several months.  She went to be with him during his trial.  He was convicted on all counts.  The evidence was non-existent.  The testimonies were changed from their original interviews.  The accuser at one point wanted to recant....yet the son was convicted on all counts.

We had prayed to God fervently and constantly.  The son has turned his heart around in jail and is growing closer to the Lord.  My friend is one of the godliest women I know.  So why didn't God answer our prayers for him to be released and allowed to come home?

I don't know.  But I do know that God is sovereign, and he promises to work everything to the good of those who love Him in Romans 8:28.

It reminds me of Joseph sitting in jail.  His arrogance and bragging had earned him a trip to Egypt as a slave, so he wasn't perfect.  And then he is falsely accused and sits in prison a long, long time.  But...just the right amount of time to end up being second in command in Egypt and saving the children of Isreal from starvation.  God worked it to the good of millions of people.  

We can trust Him.  Hang in there friend; we are still praying fervently.